


(Not) In Love

by mon_dieu



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dating, Eventual Romance, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Kinda?, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Online Dating, Strangers to Lovers, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:58:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mon_dieu/pseuds/mon_dieu
Summary: Jean Prouvaire is getting tired of receiving well-meaning pity from his friends due to his single status, so the day he sees an ad for a hire-a-boyfriend type service, and decides to start a fake relationship with the mysterious boy that wrote it.AKA: the jehanparnasse fake dating!au we all deserve





	1. Words can be deceiving

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: G  
> Word count: 1027

Jean Prouvaire was many things. He was a vegetarian, an avid reader, an optimist, an introvert, and in general he was kind, yet not delicate. He loved plants, poetry, questionable fashion choices and art. In addition to all of this, he was also single, and had been for quite some time. He had a couple of short on-and-off relationships in the past, but nothing as of late. Jean didn’t mind. While having a romantic partner was nice, he could live perfectly well without one, and had plenty of things he’d rather spend his time doing.

Some of Jean’s friends were more than supportive of him getting a romantic partner, be that a girlfriend, boyfriend, or datemate. For some reason society had managed to engrain in them the belief that you needed a romantic partner to be happy, and by those standards, Jean was not happy. Of course they wanted their friend to be happy, he could understand as much.

 

His main concern at the moment, was a certain friend of his that would not believe he was anything but a soft angel that needed protecting. Enter Courfeyrac, Jean’s friend who was the most supportive of him dating, yet very concerned about the fact, as they believed Jean was too pristine to be matched up with anyone they knew.

 

“Face it, Jehan. You’re about as edgy as a butter knife. I want to be the one to introduce you to the love of your life, but nobody is going to match up to your level of angelic pristineness.” They shrugged, their eyes apologetic, almost as if they had told him his cat had just died.

“Firstly, am not. Secondly, it’s fine if no one you know would match my personality, as I am not looking for romance. I don’t need a romantic partner to be happy, and I wish you’d just listen to me at some point.” He sighed, looking at his curly-haired friend with a gaze filled with disappointment. He stirred his latte, and looked around the café they were sitting at.

 

“Please, everyone could do with a little love in their life. We can go out tonight. Perhaps you can meet someone? It worked for me~.” Courfeyrac said in their sing-songy voice.

“It worked for you? Courf, you met Ferre at a library at 2 PM, not in some random bar.” It might be relevant to note the fact that Camille Courfeyrac met the gaze of Alexandre Combeferre at exactly 02:13 PM, on a rainy Tuesday of May of last year. Combeferre was wearing a t-shirt with Leonard Nimoy’s Spock on it, and was reading a comic hidden inside a book about rivers in Asia. Courfeyrac was there to do homework/take a nap. That was, at least, how Courfeyrac described it. 

 

“Details, schmetails. Come on, it’ll be fun.” They smiled big enough so that their dimples showed up. Fun, Jehan scoffed to himself. It should perhaps be noted, in this scenario, that Courfeyrac and Jehan had different definitions of the word fun.

“I can’t go out tonight. I have already made plans with someone else.” This was a lie. Jean had made plans with his report that he had to finish for school, but he didn’t want to enforce Courfeyrac’s already pristine image of him.

 

Courfeyrac looked at him curiously. He took a sip of his milk chocolate mocha, while choosing his words carefully.

“Now why don’t I believe you? I wonder who this someone is. Is Mr. Loner meeting up with someone after all? Who is it?”

 

“You don’t know him.” Neither did Jehan, considering he didn’t exist. “He’s someone I’ve had in my sights for a little while now.”

He was starting a spiral of lies, so he sincerely hoped Courfeyrac would let it go. Perhaps this lie would please Courfeyrac enough that they will leave him alone.

“Oh really? Well, I’ll believe you for now,” Courfeyrac smiled his Cheshire grin “but I want to meet him at some point.

Fuck, Jean thought.

 

***

 

Later that day, after he finished that damned report, Jean was browsing the net, not really looking for anything in particular. He was sipping a glass of wine, clicking around on different articles and such. Suddenly, he came across an ad. It was for someone promoting a hire-a-boyfriend type service.

 

* * *

 

**I can be your fake boyfriend!**

Are you constantly asked why you lack a significant other? Are you tired of overbearing friends and/or family, and have decided it is time to get them back? I might just be the rental boyfriend for you!

I can be both terrible - insulting everyone you know for their fashion sense, and general personality, talking about my criminal pastimes etc

Or charming - flirting with your parents (both of them), making grand romantic gestures in front of your friends. All depending on your wishes.

If interested, call me @ +33 9 26 83 14 19, or send me an email: [princeparnasse@gmail.com](mailto:princeparnasse@gmail.com)

 

* * *

 

Jehan started laughing so hard that he almost spit out his wine. Once he calmed down a bit he considered the service this boy was offering. It would get him out of his predicament with Courfeyrac. It could also help him shed the image of him being a pristine perfect angel, if he asked this guy to be a balance of the terrible and charming he offered. He checked the boy’s profile. VIParnasse was his user name. There wasn’t a lot to find out about him there, so he decided to send him an email. He explained the situation at hand and asked to meet up once before hiring him so they could talk face to face instead of just emailing.

 

An hour later he got a reply. This Montparnasse guy wanted to meet up, and asked if he was available tomorrow. VIParnasse suggested they’d meet at their local Starbucks. Jehan raised his eyebrow at that, but thought nothing much of his chain of coffee shop. They were popular and quite accessible, it didn’t say much of him as a person. He replied that it was okay, and decided to go to bed early. If nothing else, this might be entertaining.

 


	2. Be my Valentine!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: G  
> Word count: 1062

 Jehan was sitting on the bus, on his way on his encounter with the Mr Valentin Montparnasse. Jehan wondered if it helped him in the boyfriend for hire business with a name like that. Jean wondered what he looked like. He had always been a daydreamer, and loved to imagine every instance he was a part of. He hoped he was funny at least. He had to be at least somewhat nice to be around, or Courf would never buy it. He looked up, the next stop was his.

 

He went over to order. Man, he was really never here, he had no idea what to get. He ordered a “Iced Shaken Peach Green Tea Lemonade”, it sounded harmless enough. As he sat down, he sent a message to Valentin, explaining where he was sitting. Jean sat there, drawing in his notebook as he waited.

The door opened. A tall, young man about his age entered the shop. He had dark hair that was expertly styled and hazel eyes that looked almost gold in the sunlit café. He was wearing a leather jacket despite the hot weather. Jean had to admire that dedication. The boy went over to the counter and ordered a large mocha Frappuccino. Not that Jean was listening in or anything. He was extremely handsome, and dressed flawlessly.

The barista spoke loudly. “A venti mocha frappuccino for Valentine!” Could it be… The handsome boy went to collect his drink, muttering angrily about something. He looked around, and met the gaze of Jehan. The boy, that most likely was Valentin, sauntered over, a walk that screamed confidence.

 

“Jean, I presume.” The boy looked him over, checking that he matched the description Jean had given him. Jehan nodded.

“And you must be Valentin? Or should I say Valentine?” Jehan snickered.

“It’s a nightmare honestly. You’d think I had an absurd fake name or something.” Valentin shakes his head, and sits down. The remark had the desired effect, getting him to loosen up a bit. Valentin sipped his Frappuccino.

 

“So, you have friend trouble? As I understand their advice is unnecessary, but most likely well intended?” Valentin adjusted his positition and leaned his face on his hand as he waited for Jehan’s response.

“You hit the nail on the head. I know they care, and that they just want me to be happy, but I am doing fine on my own. They all have this pristine image of me. That I’m this sweet angel that would never do anything wrong, and needs to be coddled. So, I would like, if you will allow me, to use this as an opportunity to dispute both those teories.” Jehan explained. Valentin smirked, clearly thinking up

a plan.

 

“So if I understand you correctly, you would like me to play both the charming, more caring boyfriend, but also the terrible, cool one that would dispute the latter rumour? Should I in turn also seem like a bad boyfriend?”

“That would be hilarious. If you can get them to wonder why the hell I’m dating you, I will be extremely impressed.”

“Well, I can at least get them to wonder what part of my personality could possibly appeal to you, as my face speaks for itself.” He grinned. Jehan had a feeling that ego was going to be put to good use. He laughed.

 

“If you don’t mind, I would like to introduce you to my friends at a party hosted by my friend, Enjolras. Everyone will be there and it will be a huge time saver. Oh yeah, I should probably mention that most people in the group go by their last names, like Enjolras himself. Me and a few others alternate by using first names and last names, except for two girls in the group, who feel more comfortable using first names. I’ll send you a description of everyone before the party.”

“It will probably make the shtick more believable” Valentin stated plainly. He snickered. “I feel like I am taking the assignment of undercover agent. A vaguely rude and awful undercover agent, nonetheless. I swear I’m nice to most people during my free time.” He emphasized the word most.

Jehan smiled. He was perfect for the job.

 

***

 

The first thing Jehan did after he was done with his meeting with Valentin was text Courfeyrac. They probably would be mad if they weren’t informed about the party situation first, no matter if it was Enjolras hosting the party. He looked in his contacts, finding the ridiculous nickname Courfeyrac had chosen for themself.

> ** Me: **
> 
> -Hey, do you remember that date I had the other day when I couldn’t go out? -
> 
> ** Camille Courfeyrac the Courageous: **
> 
> -Of course, I remember it as if it had been yesterday! - ( _A/N: it was the day before yesterday_ )
> 
> -I also remember us agreeing that I absolutely had to meet him, or, at least, I agreed. What about them? –
> 
> ** Me: **
> 
> -Well, he will be coming with me to Enjolras’ party this weekend. I presume you will be there? –

 

Jehan said this, knowing full well that Courf never missed a party, unless they were ill. Jehan sat down by his computer and started preparing short profiles on all his friends he would assume to be at the party as he waited for a response.

 

> ** Camille Courfeyrac the Courageous: **
> 
> -Well I am always one for a party, but now I **have** to come. It must be serious, if you’re already introducing them to your friends. –
> 
> **Me:**
> 
> -I always take my relationships serious. It’s why I don’t date that often. –

 

This wasn’t that far from the truth either. In the few relationships he had been in, he had been consumed by his affection, and he couldn’t focus on other things. When he fell in love, he essentially fell face first into it, hoping the other person would continue catching him, which they often didn’t. Him choosing not to date now had nothing to do with that though. While he would probably want a serious relationship at some time later, he didn’t feel it was necessary at this point in his life.

He tried to boil the descriptions down to the most essential information, but it ended up being quite a long email after all. He should probably tip him extra for having to go through the process of reading through all of this.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> As I was looking for a productive way to procrastinate my uni assignments, I decided to write another installment in this series. We just met Montparnasse! This is Jehan's mildly shady boyfriend-for-hire who expresses his dorky sides when nobody is looking. Next chapter we meet the rest of the gang. If you have any first name headcanons for the amis please let me know. I am still on the fence on some names, and I would love to hear your opinion.
> 
> Apart from that, what did you think? If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, please tell me. I live for comments, constructive criticism especially ^^
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone,  
> I had planned this story eons ego, but just got the inspiration to finally write it. I will be giving all the characters first names, so if wished I will provide a full name list for all characters at the bottom of each chapter.
> 
> What did you think? If you find any typos or have any complaints about how I write the characters, please tell me. I live for comments, constructive criticism especially ^^
> 
> Love you lots, I'll try to update soon ♥


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